:: are men really ruled by their other head? ::

i think the people around me are weird nowadays. or maybe they are weird all along and i am only seeing it now because i am no longer hanging out with them. and by the looks of it, i won't be hanging out with them much anymore. their mentality and approach in life just irks me.

why would someone wanna be together with someone and call it a long term relationship or even dating when their only agenda is to get each other's dick in their own mouth? to me they are nothing more than fuck buddies who are confused about themselves. they don't know which side are they on. they think they are on the "love" side when, in actual fact, their freaking brains are just full of lust.

so the fuck buddies are good for like 3 months or so. then 1 of them decides that the sex doesn't excite them anymore and goes look for someone else. the "relationship" ends and everybody gets all dramatic about it.

just call it a fling. or one night stand. it's not a crime.

although i had a tired day at work. i am so damn fucking happy. thanks to pauline for breaking the good news to me. i admit i love to gloat at other people's mishaps. that's just me and i think i deserve to laugh at people who stepped on my tail before. what goes around just comes around. hahaha. congratulations. to me.

:: quiet day ::

it's a quiet day at work today. i was late for work. i woke up at 7 and found that the sky was bright already. so i zoom zoom zoom outta the house and decided to take a train. haha! i think i can't be bothered. but i took a cab instead of a bus from harbourfront mrt to camp 'cause i do not want to be so damn fucking late and i am lazy to walk from the busstop to camp.

there wasn't much to do in camp today. i think they should just let us rest at home on days like this. save our bus fare.

in my rush, i forgot to bring my ipod! wah nabeh. no ipod i think i can die. *thump thump thump* i wanna listen to my favourite songs leh.

:: happy birthday pauline ::

the fucking blogger site jammed and i lost my last post. but it is a good day today so i won't let such minor things affect my mood.

pauline celebrated her xxth birthday today. we had french food and the foie gras was simply superb! i think the goose died for a good cause and all the other geese should follow the good example set.

simple affair today. just had dinner with nat, spyder and terry. yup. i think the other stuffs we had are just alright. i still like grapevine alot more. maybe because they have fresh oysters.

so anyway, here are some pictures.


the foie gras which is quite worth the big price tag


birthday girl and me. hehe.

the dog show's coming in less than 2 weeks time. although i am not handling any dogs this time, i feel rather excited for pauline as she's gonna handle pangpang. i sure hope he would be getting a group placing. i think we would all be so proud.


there's me trying to stack pangpang. he's not groomed yet and i don't really know how to stack him. but i think it looks fine. heh.

:: will it be as it is planned? ::

so i will be going to work as per normal for this week and the following week. cross fingers cross toes that i won't get into any trouble. it will be difficult. i don't know why but i got this strange feeling i am gonna get into some sort of a serious trouble.

so that will be 29 mar - 1 apr and 4 apr - 8 apr. 2 weeks down. after which i will take leave for 5 days. since dog show is on the 10th and it is customary for me to take leave the next day, i will take leave for 11 apr - 15 apr. 18 and 19 apr will be normal work day. 20 apr is my big day! i am going for an operation!

i am gonna remove my wisdom tooth. all 4 at 1 go. so i will be undergoing ga. which is very scary from what the doctor told me. i will have to fast from midnight onwards, no problem. then i will eat some medicine and be knocked out. they will insert a tube into my nose down to the throat to allow me to breathe. and that might cause sorethroat, swollen nose and some bleeding. wahhhhh!

and the other side effects of wisdom teeth operation is
1) i will get swollen cheeks
2) there might be visible bruising at the cheeks
3) there might be numbness at the jaw and lower lip which will recover in 3 months!
4) there is 1% chance of permanent numbness at the jaw and lower lip!

scary!

scream!

close your eyes
and think of someone
you physically admire,
and let me kiss you
let me kiss you

but then you open your eyes
and you see someone
that you physically despise
but my heart is open
my heart is open to you

:: have we ever been in love? ::

you have never been in love
until you've seen the stars
reflect in the reservoirs

and you have never been in love
until you've seen the dawn rise
behind the home for the blind

:: zzz ::

wah i am so tired! slept at 4 and woke up at 6 this morning. i am in such a bad mood now due to the lack of sleep. haha.

i think i should go out and walk around tomorrow. hmm. i think i'll go watch a movie.

i hope time move on quick. i am looking forward to the end of april. haha! then i can see if my prophecy comes true. it's rather accurate in a way. it's not about telling the future or whatever. it's more about being observant and having a great intuition about things.

and come end april, i will be clearing my leave already. so yeah. i think i'll just trynna bear with it. the time is near.

:: disco baby ::

it's a good day today. went partying till late and i just got home like 15mins ago. went for poptarts at mox. maybe it's the crowd. maybe it's the wrong choice of venue. i didn't really enjoy it. there was no motorcycle emptiness. no sit down. a design for life was missing. and where is my suede?

mr spyder was like bored out like mad. so he suggested that we go to zouk for the next 2 hours since it will be opened till 4 (i think).

zouk is good. hip hop! anyway i had a little more than usual to drink tonight and i got a little high. but the rest of them were like a little tired or maybe not high. so i was the only one like totally enjoying myself there. they were either just sitting around or trying to move to the beat. spyder, as usual, is stoning. step left, step right, left and right. haha!

we should go club once a month or something.

i miss jason. i miss calvin. i miss keith. i miss jy. i miss alotta people. haha!

:: like toy soldiers ::

stumbled across jasen's blog after such a long time. he had stopped writing some time back and i thought that was for good. although i hate people who embed music videos, midis or wav files in their webpages, i kinda like the song.

step by step, heart to heart, left right left
we all fall down
step by step, heart to heart, left right left
we all fall down like toy soldiers
bit by bit torn apart we never win
but the battle wages on for toy soldiers

after a good night's sleep, i don't hate anyone anymore. for now at least. but that doesn't mean everyone can start pissing me off.

nat is also going for poptarts tonight. yoooooo. many people huh. i guess she needs to unwind too.

:: sleepyhead ::

i have been sleeping alot since yesterday. i guess it's a good time to rest and recuperate. i am so looking forward to poptart tomorrow night. and even after 10hours of sleep, i am still having the drowsy feeling. but sleep is good. alot of sleep makes a person look more radiant. haha. but i still think it's a waste of time to just sleep and do nothing else.

i wonder how's paul lim now. having to be alone in the shop with anthony. haha. she says she is scared and told me to go down when i wake up today. but the weather's so hot i don't even feel like walking out to buy food.

why is it so that whenever there's a big change in my life, everyone around me will suddenly treat me in such a different manner. some are becoming overly concerned. some are becoming extremely friendly. makes me feel so uncomfortable.

we don't talk about love
we only want to get drunk
we are not allowed to spend
and we are told
that this is the end

:: sing and smoke ::

but we didn't drink much! went to partyworld today to celebrate spyder's birthday. the service was quite bad actually. didn't like the place much. anyway we bought a salmon-pink graphic tee for spyder and i think it's quite nice although it's from 77th.

blah blah blah blah blah. i am so glad i didn't buy anything from flesh imp today. haha! and i heard there's a cheap sale at poa. their clothes suck anyway. but of course, 1 wouldn't care much if he's not the one paying.

maybe i should find a sugar-brother or whatever you call it too.

but of course, i ain't that cheap. nor will i wanna splurge on someone. i ain't that stupid. but using money to buy love isn't uncommon these days. it's a win-win situation? i guess it will be so as long as the novelty lasts.

:: it's time to enjoy ::

tada! i am at home now. took 2 days mc so that i can rest at home and recharge. anyway my bad cough has been bugging me for like 2 weeks. and mixing around with chain smokers like paul lim did not help with the situation.

so tonight will be either kbox or partyworld. yoo. i am gonna sing duet with paul lim and we are gonna force nat and spyder to sing the hokkien duet. forgot what's the title but i think paul would remember. and since i am on mc tomorrow as well, i can get drunk! but it will probably take a gallon of beer for that to happen.

i'll probably wanna stay at home tomorrow and not go down to happy with the rest. gigi asked me again yesterday if i will be going and it's hard to reject on the spot. it's not that i don't wannna go. but will it be awkward? i just find that i am outta their league. the frequency just ain't the same anymore.

it only takes a spark to make me explode.

:: finally! ::

it has all came to a closure today. this time round i didn't sweep it under the rug. i just threw it down the bin. i feel so much at ease now. no hatred and no angst. just a huge sense of relieve. i am so proud of myself now. haha. i've grown up!

thursday is ktv night. spyder's birthday is on friday. so we gonna celebrate in advance for him. he's going back for reservist on friday. fuck right. on his birthday. it's like damn unlucky. probably buy a num tshirt for him. quoting paul, "he's so laid back there's nothing we can buy for him."

don't know if it's good to go happy on friday. there's this new urban male (num) fashion show going on. i don't feel like going with the usual people. i don't know why but i just don't feel comfortable with them anymore. probably not go in the end.

saturday is poptarts at mox. i think they're gonna give us the 5th storey space. paul is going with her poptart gang. of course i will be there since i missed the previous 2 poptart events.

:: when your journal speaks the truth ::

now i know blogger is such a powerful tool. we can learn alot about what's going on in a person's life when we read their blog. sometimes the information is too much to digest and blog-voyeuring seems to lose its fun.

like my best pal, paul lim, always says, "what you don't know cannot hurt you."

so maybe i will follow her good advice and try to know less of things. live in a carefree world where only our dogs hold an important enough place in our hearts.

come to think of it, it's such an irony. i am so beaten now i can't even cry.

:: it has been a long time ::

yesterday was a good day. although it was raining heavily and paul lim was late as usual, it was overall a good day for me. i think we both love to talk alot and just do nothing but enjoy a good session of mayday. we went to ikea to have dinner. then i bought my frames and she bought herself some scented tealight. after which we took a long bus ride to my house and just lazed the evening away with cigarettes and mayday.

haven't been doing nothing for a long time. everyday seem hectic and i think i need time to unwind.

i think it's not easy to be my friend. it's either you be my good friend, or you don't. and if you can't be my good friend and try very hard to be, you'll probably end up in my "boycotted list". 1st impression matters alot i guess. then after that would be the judgement of intellectual abilities. it's like, if we can't click, means we can't. it's useless to force anything cause nothing good will come out of it.

so have the culling started?

:: have we got nothing better to do? ::

went to qian hu fish farm today. it's an unit event. i can't imagine army actually organise this kinda activities these days. it's really lame and i guess more than half of the people who went are not keen to go at all. the other half went just because they can skip work and just do nothing.

anyway the sun is scorching and they organised this silly event that we are supposed to squat next to the pond and try to catch the mollies with this fucking small and shallow net. so i just squat there for one hour, stirring the water. anyway i think the water is so damn dirty. my hands felt rough after touching the water.

then this man who spoke lousy english led us on this "tour" thing. he tried to explain to us about the different fish and bragged about their prized arowanas. i was busy smoking the whole time. haha.

oh yah. the owner (or is he just the major shareholder or founder) of the farm is like fucking narcissistic. he had like 10 noticeboards full of pin-ups about him appearing on magazines, tv and newspaper. then there's the tv which played interviews and of those times he appeared on tv. like wtf?

and i am feeling damn sick now after 1 hour under the sun. and that bastard who has killer b.o. and shared the same bus as me. he's like 10 little-india-indians combined. make me sick.

anyway after so much cock-talking (reminder : it's the year of the cock), the topic is more about have we really got nothing better to do than to mope and wallow in self-pity?

:: lost and found ::

i think the name butterfly ridge has it's hidden meaning. butterflies are carefree and always wandering around. not used to being confined in an area.

our dearest paul lim has lost her dog for the 7th time yesterday. but all is good now as the dog was returned by a samaritan last night.

so please name your dogs something more auspicious. like maybe, homer? means your dog love to stay at home and wouldn't try to run away. haha. corny. and come to think of it, i didn't know "refund" means "cat slayer" or something. maybe it's their language.

:: bling bling ::

i am thinking of my bling bling again. when will i ever have enough money to buy myself one? i think it will look damn good on me.

:: speechless ::

haven't had much to write these few days. i've decided to write only about the good and sweep the bad stuff under the rug, hoping that i would not have a recollection of anything about it when time goes by. this blog shall remain in its taint-free state.

tomorrow's thursday already. it's good that time seem to be moving in a relatively good pace. i just can't wait. soon it's smu and bye bye to army.

i am really bad at adjusting to the changing environment. be it work or my personal life. but things won't stay the way they are forever and i guess i will have to learn to adapt. so should i just move on to a new chapter?