:: random thoughts ::

i was, as usual, dazing and daydreaming when i was at work today. workload's been pretty low since most of the bankers have moved to the new building. although i am the only customer support personnel servicing what's left of about 200 bankers, there isn't much to do.

i wasn't thinking about what i should do if i win the lottery. that usually leads to a vision of a big house with a big garden for refund to play in. then i'll drive home in my favourite car which is currently the rx8. but that's so typical of most people. daydreaming.

today i thought about my life so far. like what would have happened if i studied harder when i was younger. i'd probably be better off if i was sent to a better school without all that bad influence from my classmates. but i quickly realised that if that were to happen, i'd most likely not meet those people i know so far in my life.

and i surprised myself a little when i found that there isn't many people around i can call friends.

most people think that i am cold and a little aloof. it's true that i don't take to making friends with people easily. i am picky. if i am pissed, i wouldn't hesitate to just ignore the person completely. if i am no longer comfortable, why would i wanna force myself to suffer and, at the same time, put on a pretence and lie to the world?

then i thought about people whom came in and out of my life. there were the fun people i knew in primary and secondary school. the amount of trouble we create for others and ourselves.

then there're people who proclaimed their love for me. come to think of it now, we were just foolish people, who don't know what we were doing.

finally, i thought of what i have now and the people who are still in my life. and i smiled to myself.