:: tired mind, body and soul ::

my mind's tired. too much projects for me to handle. there's the battalion performance management system which i had to program into the computer so that results can be tabulated and sorted into monthly, quarterly and annual output. there's a meeting every month for this and everytime the meeting is coming, i can feel myself getting very stressed out. there's the launch of the new intranet website which i have to oversee. then there is this introduction of knowledge management into the battalion and i have to come up with a new website for it. there's still the poster designs and other admin work i have to do. too much work and too little time. the pay kinda sucks too. fuck the army.

my whole body feels like a wreck. i had been losing sleep over numerous reasons. i admit i ask for it sometimes, but the majority of the reasons come from something i have no control over. training for ippt is no joke. fuck the army again.

my soul's dented. somebody show me the light. please. sometimes i look at my life and i think it's kinda dysfunctional. not much far-sightedness in terms of planning for the future. it's not that i do not wanna plan. but things are so uncertain sometimes and i won't know what will happen next. now i am leading a day by day kinda life, just taking things as they come. i am becoming numb. fuck myself.